Kris and Fern far from Gung-Ho their 5k

Gung-Ho 5k, Cofton Park, Birmingham: Saturday 6th May 2017 

There’s a pain in my left knee that’s sharp and achy. Whatever I have done my body does not want to put weight on my left leg. So much so that when I woke up at 5am this morning to go to the loo, I crawled on my hands and knees to get there, the discomfort resulting in a strong urge to be sick. I’m getting better now though.

Fern is covered in bruises, their size and colour growing by the hour it seems.

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The Birmingham Gung-Ho 5K was a bit of a last minute booking, the inflatable obstacle course it offered attracting us to give it a go. We are feeling the pain of our experience even if there is no video evidence to prove it. Fern brought a Go Pro for the run but I do not think she managed to get it working. “Trial and error,” we kept saying, they’ll be another 5k obstacle course in three weeks time.

The clouds gather, groups of women dressed in tutus and superhero outfits surround us and we’re off. Fern and I had planned again to stay together but I’m a faster starter. That was initially frustrating but as I grew tired later she caught me up. Whilst the hilly terrene of Cofton Park finished Fern off early, I too need to work on my stamina.

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There were fewer serious runners it seemed to me compared to our Blue Run in Manchester and the run this time certainly felt longer. Maybe the weather had something to do with it, soon after we started, the clouds turned to rain and the inflatable obstacles became evermore wet and slippery as a result; a far cry from the sun at the Etihad a few weeks a go.

Fern’s bruises came from her struggles to climb up and over the inflatables and hitting the steps there to assist. She stamped on my leg at one point. No damage done but in football that would be a leg breaker and a red card.

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I seemed to wait an age for Fern to make it over one part of the course. When she finally popped her head over the top like a meerkat on look out she was soon gone again for quite some time before making her way down in her trademark unladylike manner.

Fern version of events: What Krissy doesn’t realise is the trauma I was going through to get over the inflatable hill. I had been bouncing up and down in the same spot for what felt like eternity and once my feet left the surface; I went straight into the wall face palming it with force! Finally, I succeeded in gaining enough height and wrenched my way over. I thought I was done, only to be faced with the second half of the obstacle. I wanted to get off and walk round at this point but after watching a kid of about eight or nine leap over with ease I thought ‘man up’ and finish the task at hand.

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The final hurdle was a huge blue slide. As Fern and I prepared to go down together we soon discovered why people were screaming all the way to the bottom, the water they were using to keep the slide slippy was freezing.

We have been laughing at our memories today, but our performance wasn’t great. And there were no medals in sight.

Written and edited by Kris Bramwell

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